Front page Archive Why Arlen? Arlen is the TV home of "King of the Hill." It's a small conservative town that is threatened with ruination on a regular basis by twig boys, enviro wackos, diversity nuts, "PC" police and other ivory tower liberals. I like to think of Arlen as a metaphor for this here great nation of ours.

Tuesday, May 06, 2003 Posted 8:22 AM by Hank LIBERALS, PESTILENCE AND PROFILING If you don’t know what SARS or “Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome” is, you haven’t been watching or reading the news, or watching the Tonight Show, for the last month. This highly infectious respiratory disease is causing fear and consternation throughout the world, and various officials have taken various measures to combat it, including officials at one of the most reliably liberal places in America. Fox News is reporting that “The University of California at Berkeley will turn away new students from SARS-infected China, Taiwan, Singapore and Hong Kong this summer in what is believed to be the first such move by a major U.S. university to prevent the spread of the virus.” Let me get this straight: one of the most liberal colleges in America is basing decisions on who should or shouldn't attend classes because of the students' countries of origin? It’s judging who may be a threat to others’ safety based on ethnicity? Isn’t that...racial profiling? How is it different than airlines or federal officials basing decisions on who should or shouldn’t board airplanes because of passengers’ countries of origin? How is what Berkeley’s doing anything other than judging who may be a threat to others’ safety based on ethnicity? Much like affirmative action, it looks like liberals don’t care about minority rights when the minority is Asian. However, if I was an Asian student, I wouldn’t worry. There’s a sure-fire way to get into Berkeley, even if they have SARS. The should claim to be gay. After all, if twenty years of AIDS (re)education has taught us anything, its that, no matter how infectious and deadly a disease is, if enough sufferers are homosexual, it would be wrong to discriminate against them. So my advice to the students trying to get into Berkeley is this: paint pink trianges on your surgical masks and practice chanting “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it.” You’ll be taking classes in no time Home