Front page Archive Why Arlen? Arlen is the TV home of "King of the Hill." It's a small conservative town that is threatened with ruination on a regular basis by twig boys, enviro wackos, diversity nuts, "PC" police and other ivory tower liberals. I like to think of Arlen as a metaphor for this here great nation of ours.

Friday, July 22, 2005 Posted 4:55 AM by Hank Paper: New yellow Ithaca police Beetle: ‘Not striking fear' ITHACA NY--The Ithaca Police have a new patrol car: a yellow Volkswagon bug. I am not making this up. Today’s Ithaca Journal reports that Police Chief Lauren Signer used the year’s patrol car budget to buy two bright yellow beetles for the department, for a total cost of $30,858. One was striped and fitted like a “normal” police car, and is used downtown. The other is driven by Signer “as part of her compensation package for the post.” Reaction from the community has ranged from disgusted to amused. The Journal, in a bold display of journalistic insight, noted “The cost for the new Beetles may not be justified.” One city council member was insulted that the car was not patrolling his own neighborhood, claiming that the more traditional police cars used in in his district were reflective of “police officers in combat boots.” Others referred to the new patrol car as as “a clown mobile” or “clown car.” “It's not really striking the fear into anyone,” one person told the Journal. Wednesday, July 06, 2005 Posted 8:00 PM by Hank ADM. JAMES STOCKDALE, R.I.P. Retired vice admiral James Stockdale, Ross Perot's running mate in 1992, died yesterday at 81, the Associated Press reports: Stockdale gave a stumbling performance in the nationally televised vice-presidential debate against Dan Quayle and Al Gore and later said he didn't feel comfortable in the public eye. "Who am I? Why am I here?" he asked rhetorically in his opening statement. Toward the end, he asked the moderator to repeat a question, saying, "I didn't have my hearing aid turned on." What many didn't realize was that Stockdale lost his hearing as Prisoner of War in Vietnam: [He spent] seven years in a North Vietnamese prison, where extensive physical torture became a ritual, and where Stockdale gambled his own life to force better conditions for his fellow prisoners. His back was broken, one leg was shattered beyond repair, his shoulders were torn from their sockets, and his hearing was irreparably damaged. Stockdale was made a particular target of his captors. He was the POW leader; it was obvious he was counseling defiance. He was informed one day that he would be taken downtown to read a propaganda statement. "They were always careful not to torture us in ways that would look too obvious, like punishment to the face. They wanted it to seem like we were making these statements of our own free will, which of course would have been ludicrous." "While they were gone, I picked up a mahogany stool and bashed my own face with it," Stockdale says. "Both my eyes swelled up and closed. They couldn't take me out in public now because anyone seeing it would think they'd beaten me to make me cooperate." As punishment, Stockdale spent much of the next two years in solitary confinement, usually in leg irons. He was tortured more than a dozen times. Undeterred, he communicated with other prisoners by tapping out code on cell walls with tin cups. Whenever he was allowed to talk directly with other Americans, he instructed them to resist any form of cooperation with the Viet Cong. Stockdate was a patriot, a war hero and, as Dennis Miller noted, "a brilliant, sensitive, courageous man. And yet he committed the one unpardonable sin in our culture: he was bad on television." Rest in Peace, sir. Monday, July 04, 2005 Posted 9:45 AM by Hank AND THAT'S WHAT INDEPENDENCE DAY IS ALL ABOUT, CHARLIE BROWN... From the Finger Lakes Times, a small town paper in upstate New York, comes this combination of good news from Iraq and a nice reminder of what July 4 really stands for: [Spc. Christopher Bean], 20, of Port Gibson, finished up a year-long stint in Baghdad as a truck driver with the 594th Transportation Co., a 101st Airborne division. His time in the military has given him a different perspective on the Fourth of July. “In Iraq, we’re not fighting for ourselves,” said Bean, “We’re over there fighting so the Iraqis can have their own Fourth of July.” One of the things that struck Bean most about his time in Iraq was the people themselves. Most of the Iraqis he met were proud to have the Americans there, he said, and watching them go through their daily lives made him appreciate the historic significance of our Independence Day. “Being there really opens your eyes to what our forefathers went through to get the freedom we have today,” he said. Before he was deployed to Baghdad in June 2004, Bean said the Fourth of July was just another holiday. “It was basically another day to have fun and spend time with people,” he said. While the Beans celebrate today, safe in the knowledge that their soldier is home, other military families face the Fourth of July with proud, but heavy, hearts. For almost 17 years, Tina Smith of Waterloo has lived with her husband, Dave, being in the Army. A unit armorer for the Army National Guard E Troop 101st Calvary serving in Iraq, Smith is also a Seneca County sheriff’s deputy. “He’s got two jobs that he loves,” Tina said. “One is for his country, and the other is for his county.” Tina said her daughters, Stephanie, 13, Miranda, 11, and Rhiannon, 8, understand that their father is in the Army and they’re very proud of him. When Rhiannon’s school had a coffee break for Father’s Day, Tina said, she took her uncle and explained to her friends that “Daddy is in Iraq protecting us.” Today will be spent at a simple barbecue with family and friends, Tina Smith said. “It means a lot more to us because we’re a military family,” she said. “My kids and I know what he’s doing there, and we agree with it,” she added. Saturday, July 02, 2005 Posted 8:34 AM by Hank SLOW NEWS DAY IN UPSTATE NEW YORK: Apparently, every time a single person tries to talk people out of seeing a movie, its big news in Rochester, New York. A local TV station is reporting that a "a local college student tried to get people to ...not to go to Tom Cruise's latest movie, 'War of the Worlds.'" Fugle believes Cruise is adding to the stigma of mental illness, by talking about his scientology beliefs. Cruise made comments about...post partum depression [and claimed it can be cured] by taking vitamins. Better alert the media, since I plan on telling my wife I don't want to go to anymore foreign art flicks. Home